Describe your family
by kaijin-taichou
Summary: How would you describe your family in an essay if your parents are shinigamis? Please R&R. :)


Title:Describe your family  
Summary: How would you describe your family in an essay if your parents are shinigamis?  
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. It belongs to Kubo-sensei, as well as my heart. ^^

Hello everyone! It's been five years since my last Ichiruki story! A lot has changed here in. What happened? I am really lost. If you have been able to read this, I somehow managed to publish my story. LOL!

Anyway, as I've said it's been five years and within that time, _To Byakuya, To Ichigo, To Toushirou_ and _Rukia's horrible doodles_ are still receiving reviews and favorite alerts. WOW! THANK YOU SO MUCH! I love you, guys!

This new Ichiruki one-shot is dedicated to all of my reviewers. You know who you are! ^^ This is not-really-a-sequel-but-sort-of-inspired by _To Byakuya…_ story. Enjoy and spread the Ichiruki love! (And let's pray for Byakuya and Kenpachi! T_T)

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A jet-black haired kid stared blankly at a sheet of paper. In his opinion, this was the hardest school project he has ever encountered. _Write an essay describing your family._

Kurosaki Kaien can describe his family in so many ways. He was so sure that a particular word will be abused in his essay. _Extraordinary._

He grew up in a very extraordinary family. His parents are shinigami. His father, Ichigo, is a full-time doctor doing shinigami duties as part-time. He has to because his lovely wife, Kaien's mother, Rukia, is a full-time vice-fucking-captain of the 13th division of the Soul Society. His dad was supposedly a captain as well. However, he decided to raise his children in a normal way.

The teenager wanted to ask his dad his definition of the word "normal" because to be perfectly honest, nothing is normal in his life.

He and his younger sister, Masaki, has a psychotic grandfather. Kurosaki Isshin never fails to give the siblings his so-called love by bear-hugging them. The older Kurosaki also made-up this rule that his grandchildren should always talk to their grandmother. The problem is their grandmother died a long time ago. Kaien's sister was named after her. Isshin wants them to talk to that huge poster of their grandmother. They should share to the poster what they have been doing in their life.

After they talked to their grandmom's poster, the former captain will give them another hug. Then he will begin a long monologue, telling his late wife how Kaien and Masaki grew up well and that he is very glad that his grandchildren did not get any of their father's cheeky personality. Of course, their father will react by kicking their grandfather. The older Kurosaki will kick him back. That's how the father-and-son shows their love for each other. Kaien secretly prays to his grandmother that his orange-haired dad would never do it to him because surely, he will also hit him back.

His father has twin sisters, Yuzu and Karin. Among the whole Kurosaki family, Kaien thinks his Yuzu-obachan is his most normal family member. She is such a sweet lady and she cooks very well. Meanwhile, his Karin-obachan is almost normal. She also sees souls (which is a normal thing in their extraordinary family). She is a tomboy and looks like a snob but Karin is actually as sweet as her twin sister.

The not-so-normal thing about Karin is that she married a shinigami, too who is a lot shorter than her. He is Hitsugaya Toushirou-taichou. He and his dad are relatively close but they act like real brothers whenever they bully his Yuzu-obachan's suitors. No wonder, Yuzu is still single despite being her mother-like attitude. No one ever passes the tests of Ichigo and Toushirou

Of course, his mother's family has an equal contribution to their extraordinary family. Rukia is enough as she is already a shinigami when she had them. However, nothing compares to their sakura-loving uncle, Byakuya-ojisama. He is as cold as ice and the 6th division captain hates his father.

There was this time where his Byakuya-ojisama invited them to spend their vacation in the Kuchiki mansion. Yes, it is a freaking mansion! Kaien has been there for so many times, yet, he ends up getting lost. Speaking of getting lost, his dad is as unfortunate as he is in memorizing what room was assigned to them.

However, the huge difference is that whenever Kaien gets lost, his uncle would suddenly show up and tell him where their room is. If his father gets lost, Byakuya will just show up _in their room_ and will transfer him, his mom, and his sister somewhere, still inside the mansion so his dad would never ever find them. Luckily, Ichigo is friends with the 6th division vice-captain, Abarai Renji. He helps him find his family, which also means a certain red-haired man with weird tattoos needs to block a certain Senbonzakura attack somewhere after helping his doctor friend.

Despite this cold treatment he gives to his father, Kaien is grateful to Byakuya because he taught him how to draw. His Byakuya-ojisama is his art master. He loves his seaweed ambassador mascot. The said mascot is his and Masaki's childhood hero. However, it seems like Ichigo hates that fact. Not that he hates his son's drawing but he never say anything about it or if he says anything, it's more of "Who is this raccoon?" or "Who is this rabbit, ohhh, that's a bear?! Alright. Who is it again?"

Ichigo criticizes his mother's drawing skills, which confuses Kaien. Rukia draws really great, well, of course, not as great as Byakuya but still! His mother's skill is exceptional! Kaien hopes his dad will learn how to appreciate art as much as how his mom loves his work.

Speaking of his parents, Ichigo and Rukia are neither particularly sweet nor romantic. Well, if you think bickering is romantic then Kaien's parents are the most romantic couple in Karakura Town and in Soul Society. Kaien thinks that his parents say their _I love you_'s by kicking each other's butt. He remembered their recent lover's quarrel.

_Kaien groggily went on his way downstairs. His father, who was running for his life, quickly greeted him "Ohayou~ Kaien-chan!" as he went upstairs. Then suddenly an avalanche of cold air appeared in front of Kaien, waking up every cell in his body._

"_I'm sorry, Kaien-chan! That Hakuren is intended for your father!" His mother told him as she took her step upstairs. Rukia kissed her eldest's cheek and proceeded in chasing her husband._

"_What happened?" Kaien asked his sister as he reached the dining area._

"_Dad insulted Mom's cooking skill again," Masaki answered. Kaien noticed that she wasn't eating._

"_Is it that bad?" he asked curiously as he pulled Masaki's miso soup. His younger sister nodded._

"_She still can't get Yuzu-obachan's miso soup taste," Masaki whispered, fearing that her mother would also attack her with Hakuren._

Maybe, the younger Kurosaki could describe his family by starting with himself.

He was named after a late fuku-taichou, Shiba Kaien. He was his mom's mentor, who has a very striking resemblance to his father. When he was younger, whenever they visit his mother in the 13th division headquarters, Rukia's subordinates would always tease him. They would tell him that Shiba Kaien was his mom's first love and not his father, Ichigo.

Being a very young child and because he hadn't seen his parents kill each other yet, Kaien would always cry. He would tell them that his parents love each other and that he'll have a baby sister inside his mom's womb. His dad is a very good sport and he is never bothered by those constant teasing.

Kaien doesn't look like Shiba Kaien because he is not a carbon-copy of his father. He is a mix of his mom and dad.

However, there has been an inside joke within the Kurosaki family that he looked like his father's Tensa Zangetsu's spirit. Of course, they would never know because only Ichigo has seen him.

Giving up, Kaien shook him head violently. He could never describe his family. He slammed his head on his table out of frustration. He took a deep breath then he screamed. A few seconds later, a carrot-top man bursted in his door.

"Kaien, are you okay?" Ichigo asked with a panic voice.

The substitute shinigami noticed a red spot on his son's forehead. "Did you hit your forehead on your desk?" his father asked worriedly.

Before Kaien could answer, a petite woman, who was wearing an apron and holding a ladle, suddenly appeared on his window. She was standing there like a boss. The two Kurosakis had a mini-heart attack.

"Would you stop doing that inside my house, Rukia?" Ichigo told his wife.

"This is my house as well, Ichigo," Rukia answered back.

Kaien sighed as his parents bickered. They seemed to forget to ask what happened to their eldest child.

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As Kaien walked his way to his school, he noticed a boy, with a black hair, walking. He was about his age. He called him.

"Yuuichi!" However, the teenager he called Yuuichi didn't hear him.

"Oi! Ishida Yuuichi!" Kaien shouted as he ran to his friend.

Ishida Yuuichi adjusted his pair of eyeglasses and looked at Kaien, who was walking beside him.

"Oi, Kaien," he said gloomy. Kaien laughed at his friend. He knows exactly what happened to him.

"Your essay?" Kaien asked. Yuuichi nodded.

"How can I describe my family? _My father is a Quincy who loves to sew while my mother has a very strong healing power but she is a very awful cook._" Yuuichi cried.

Instead of laughing, Kaien sighed. He understood him so much.

"Did you manage to write anything?" Yuuichi asked. He knew Kaien also had a hard time making the essay. The younger Kurosaki shook his head.

The two teenagers sighed as they continued walking. That essay is indeed the hardest project they've ever encountered.

xxx


End file.
